Tears

Frequently I hear, "You are an ER nurse? Wow, I bet you have some great stories! How do you do it?" Most of the time the ER is fun chaos. Evidence the human race really have no common sense.  Everyone from papercuts, to strokes, to fractured arms, to druggies, to traumas, to sick babies comes through those doors. I've noticed over the last few years I've become a little bit more callus toward a few things. A survival instinct. But every once in a while a case comes a long that takes me a few days to process. Tonight was one such case.

I have some amazing co-workers. Seriously I could not ask for a better group of people to work with. I know they have my back in any situation. Last night a sick little baby came in.  One of my favorite nurses was the primary nurse and immediately went in and began to help that poor thing. The poor thing was so sick and in the midst of being transferred, coded. 45min later of drug pushing, chest compressions, fluid bolusing, and a neonatologist intervention the baby's little heart began to beat. Unfortunately the baby did not survive later. My heart just broke for that mom as she watched us work so hard to save her little baby.  Her husband was able to make it and support his wife.  My heart still breaks for them.  Their lives have forever changed.  I seriously do not know what I would do without the knowledge I have of the gospel. 

So yes my job is crazy but every once in a while a patient comes a long that really touches my heart. I pray that mom finds peace.  I will shed a few tears, write down the experience--so I can process it, and go back to work. Hey, I am an ER nurse. It's what I do.