Pulling out of a funk is really hard to do. For the last month I have been frustrated and pushing my emotions away--thinking they would just disappear. Only to discover that they surfaced in every aspect of my life. After getting some advice from two amazing women in my life, I understood the importance of experiencing all the emotions of life.
My life is amazing--I know that. I have had so many opportunities and experiences. I have a job I love--most of the time--and supportive family and friends. Heavenly Father has blessed me incredibly. But that doesn't hide the fact I am still alone. Most of the time it doesn't bug me--but every once in a while the ache gets stronger. After having a talk with a friend she helped me see its okay to mourn that loss. My life is not how I planned it. It 's not any better or worse just different. But I still feel the pain of a loss.
Now I am taking a new step forward. Realizing the power of the Atonement is healing my heart. I've learned its not just helping me fix my mistakes but to heal the pain and aches of my heart. They don't completely go away but are softened. I've reread one of my favorite talks by Elder Oaks titled, " Timing." These quotes stood out to me:
The most important principle of timing is to take the long view. Mortality is just a small slice of eternity, but how we conduct ourselves here--what we become by our actions and desires, confirmed by our covenants and the ordinances administered to us by proper authority--will shape our destiny for all eternity.
We prepare in the way the Lord has directed. we hold ourselves in readiness to act on the Lord's timing. He will tell us when the time is right to take the next step. For now we simply concentrate on our own assignments and on what we have been asked to do today.
Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ prepares us for whatever life brings. This kind of faith prepares us to deal with life's opportunities--to take advantage of those that are received and to persist through disappointments of those that are lost. When we do this, we will have a constancy in our lives that will give us direction and peace. Whatever the circumstances beyond our control, our commitments and standards can be constant.
Commit yourself to put the Lord first in your life, keep His commandments, and do what the Lord's servants ask you to do. You do not know what will happen. Do your best on what is fundamental and personal and then trust in the Lord and His timing.
Do not rely on planning every event of your life--even every important event. Stand ready to accept the Lord's planning and the agency of others in matters that inevitably affect you.
So I will take the next step in my life in the dark and hope it is the right one. I am going back to school--yeah I thing I have brain damage. Buying a house--which a fun process of waiting and searching. And trying to figure out my new job as a Charge Nurse at work. Enjoying chick flicks & chocolate. Playing with my friends and family. I will keep planning my trips and finding new things to learn while clinging to hope.
My life is amazing--I know that. I have had so many opportunities and experiences. I have a job I love--most of the time--and supportive family and friends. Heavenly Father has blessed me incredibly. But that doesn't hide the fact I am still alone. Most of the time it doesn't bug me--but every once in a while the ache gets stronger. After having a talk with a friend she helped me see its okay to mourn that loss. My life is not how I planned it. It 's not any better or worse just different. But I still feel the pain of a loss.
Now I am taking a new step forward. Realizing the power of the Atonement is healing my heart. I've learned its not just helping me fix my mistakes but to heal the pain and aches of my heart. They don't completely go away but are softened. I've reread one of my favorite talks by Elder Oaks titled, " Timing." These quotes stood out to me:
The most important principle of timing is to take the long view. Mortality is just a small slice of eternity, but how we conduct ourselves here--what we become by our actions and desires, confirmed by our covenants and the ordinances administered to us by proper authority--will shape our destiny for all eternity.
We prepare in the way the Lord has directed. we hold ourselves in readiness to act on the Lord's timing. He will tell us when the time is right to take the next step. For now we simply concentrate on our own assignments and on what we have been asked to do today.
Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ prepares us for whatever life brings. This kind of faith prepares us to deal with life's opportunities--to take advantage of those that are received and to persist through disappointments of those that are lost. When we do this, we will have a constancy in our lives that will give us direction and peace. Whatever the circumstances beyond our control, our commitments and standards can be constant.
Commit yourself to put the Lord first in your life, keep His commandments, and do what the Lord's servants ask you to do. You do not know what will happen. Do your best on what is fundamental and personal and then trust in the Lord and His timing.
Do not rely on planning every event of your life--even every important event. Stand ready to accept the Lord's planning and the agency of others in matters that inevitably affect you.
So I will take the next step in my life in the dark and hope it is the right one. I am going back to school--yeah I thing I have brain damage. Buying a house--which a fun process of waiting and searching. And trying to figure out my new job as a Charge Nurse at work. Enjoying chick flicks & chocolate. Playing with my friends and family. I will keep planning my trips and finding new things to learn while clinging to hope.
Hope is not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us. It is confidence that if we live according to God's laws and the words of His prophets now, we will receive desired blessings in the future. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance. Hope sustains us through despair. Hope teaches that there is reason to rejoice even when all seems dark around us.
--President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
--President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Have I told you how fabulous you are?
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