Graditude

Words cannot express how grateful my heart is. Though the list is endless here are a few things that I am truly grateful for:

• The deep sense of love and peace I have felt from my Savior. I've had a lot of doubts about where my life is going and who I am this last month. As I reread through my journal tonight I ran across this passage on Oct 18:
  

My life is not what I thought it would be right now. But I've learned an incredible amount about myself. In the last 3 years I've learned to step up to the plate. That my Heavenly Father loves because He is my dad. My Savior wants me to succeed. His love is there alwasy pulling me back. That no matter how hard I try I will fail. Without failing I could not hope to understand the Savior and the true power of the Atonement. Atonement is the power to change. The healing power ot take my heart and soul and make me into the person the Savior know I can be. I can be more patient. I can understand that I will slip-but I can get right back on and try again. I can understand that change takes time. Nothing of worth will be easy. A lot of time I will feel beaten and destroyed. But that is where the Savior will come in. He is there for me. Do not give into the doubts of self deprivation or self doubt Satan will throw at me. He is working so hard to destroy me. Remember Christ does not demand perfection. He has taken care of that part. He does want my time, my heart, my humility, and my efforts.

• The Atonement. I know I have only begun to scratch the surface on the full power of the Atonement. But I have seen in work in my life the last month. The Atonement runs on MY faith. My faith to be healed both physically and emotionally. Scars from both can only truly close with this power. I have felt it work in my life, work to heal and to strengthen me. To help me take the next step, to face the next challenge of my life.
  
• My parents: Without them I don't know where I would be. They have been my rock, my driving force, and my strength my whole life. They have pushed me to be better. To not settle. To do the best that I can. They listen to my concerns, my heartbreaks, my self-doubts, my joys, and my stories. They tell me when to knock it off and just get back on the trail. Their love is endless and a great strength for me as i figure out this crazy life.
• My job: Yeah I know I have a love/hate relationship with the ER. Deep down the love is stronger. I wish I could be normal but where is the fun is that. Where else could I meet and learn from amazing staff. Where else could I be key in helping make a difference in lives on a daily basis? Where else can I make kids smile, or get hugs from a older ladies, or yell at some drunks in the same day? Where else can I be pushed, challenged, and stretched to the breaking point only to see just how strong I am? Where else would I get 80 threats on an ex-boyfriend's life? Where else would I be looked after so well? I can't think of one.
  
• Challenges: This year especially I've had a lot more on my plate. More has been asked of me. I have not backed down or given up. I did not give in to fear or doubt--even though it was there trust me. I put my heart on the line. Which is HUGE for me. I guard it closely. I've learned from every experience and while I still have a lot more to go each has pushed me and shown me what I am capable of. I can face change. I can step up to every challenge and come out on top of it. I am stronger than I think I am.
  
• Opportunities: I have so many options. So many things to try and to do. I have opportunities to serve to hike to travel to sleep to do as many new things as I can cram into one day. While it can be daunting, everything is open to me.
  
• Little things that simply make me happy; chocolate, pajamas, talking with my sisters, swapping jokes at work, walking through the canyon, new books, technology, journals, countless friends, baking, new carpet, hot showers, blaring music, shopping sprees, playgrounds, medicines, random texts, fuzzy blankets, Russell Crowe, the dragon movie, clean house, and like I said an endless list

The list is long but these things have stood out to me lately. I am happy, what more is there really?