I'm beginning to think falling in love is overrated. Either that or I'm missing my calling to become a nun. The last few months I have had a guy in my life. A guy who changed my life for the better and I thought could be the one I spend the rest of my life with. Today that dream was shattered.
My heart is breaking. I didn't think that was possible again. But while it continues to ache and the tears will flow, I can't complain too much. Today I have been blessed in ways I had forgotten existed. While my heart breaks I have this strange sense of peace. The amount of love and support I have felt from people is amazing. They have reminded me I am worth more. I deserve more. I can have more. Yes, life will suck for the next couple weeks as I adjust to single life. But I also have a lot. Friends and family who love me and make me smile. Nothing better than a dance party in the kitchen with your siblings. A new calling to teach 5 energetic and sweet sunbeams. Peace and knowledge that I have something bigger in store for me down the road.
In the mean time I will go back to planning my trips, reading my books, working a lot, and eating even more chocolate than before. Yeah, life really sucks at times. I also need to swear off any boy whose name starts with "j." I am telling you nothing good comes from them. Okay deep breath, life will be okay.
My heart is breaking. I didn't think that was possible again. But while it continues to ache and the tears will flow, I can't complain too much. Today I have been blessed in ways I had forgotten existed. While my heart breaks I have this strange sense of peace. The amount of love and support I have felt from people is amazing. They have reminded me I am worth more. I deserve more. I can have more. Yes, life will suck for the next couple weeks as I adjust to single life. But I also have a lot. Friends and family who love me and make me smile. Nothing better than a dance party in the kitchen with your siblings. A new calling to teach 5 energetic and sweet sunbeams. Peace and knowledge that I have something bigger in store for me down the road.
In the mean time I will go back to planning my trips, reading my books, working a lot, and eating even more chocolate than before. Yeah, life really sucks at times. I also need to swear off any boy whose name starts with "j." I am telling you nothing good comes from them. Okay deep breath, life will be okay.
So sorry, girl. You are amazing and I love you!
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches with yours. Sometimes emotional pain is worse than physical, hands down.
ReplyDeleteMy mission president sent me a book at a really difficult time during my mission. He put a sticky note inside that he'd written, "Sister Deans, no trial comes without blessing in this life. This I know." I still have that note and the book, and I whisper it to myself over and over at the times that I wish I could sink into nothing.
I hope you'll remember (especially in those horrible burning moments when you can't sleep) just how much you mean to people like me.
yours always,
Lisa