Lucky

Lucky. Isn't that the name of a Britney Spears song? I wish I was lucky this week but alas I am not. My monthly round of insomnia is here and I would love to get over it. I thought I was over this burnout thing but I'm struggling again this week. I need a change. I need something different. I just don't know what that something is. Work is tough, full of change and demand. Somehow I still love it. If I put aside all the political side of things and focus on my patients, I find the reason I went into nursing. But alas I can't escape the politics. I have high hopes it will settle down soon.

Me, I don't handle lack of sleep well. Insomnia is a cruel thing. Over 24hrs without sleep, drugs that backfired creating a headache and dizziness, and enormous amounts of guilt made for an extremely crappy night. Somehow during this time all my insecurities and life frustrations surfaced. Crying is an amazing stress relief. With puffy eyes a few hours later I actually felt better and fell asleep. Hitting the bottom gives me a great perspective. Especially the tender mercies I tend not see on a day to day basis.

I am lucky. On this lucky day I will list a few reasons why:

1. Hawaii is 6 weeks away where I get to spend a week exploring the sun and beaches.
2. I have some adorable kids in my life. I get to run around with and spoil on a regular basis.
3. My book supply continues to grow allowing me to escape into worlds beyond my own.
4. I have a variety of opportunities to try new things and develop new gifts.
5. My bedroom is almost the perfect place to escape.
6. I have time to recover from the craziness and discover new things about myself I would not have known otherwise--I'm not as shy as I thought I am.
7. I can be useful to my friends/family/co-workers.
8. The sun is coming out. Oh how I've missed my friend sunshine.
9. I have great parents who listen and help me even when I don't make sense.
10. My Heavenly Father and my Savior are there for me even when I don't deserve it. They give me the chance to start fresh.